“What time are we leaving?” That’s the question my son asked me last night.

“Well, maybe 7:00 but it will feel like 6:00.” I told him.

He rolled his eyes, “Not more of the ‘it will feel like stuff.’”

At dinner my dad had said, “It will be hard to leave early because waking up at 6:00 you lose an hour. But, traveling home will be nice because you pretty much gain an hour.”

I think this might be why calendar math is hard for me.

But, I figured out what he meant. 6:00 a.m. feels like 5:00 a.m., and that’s going to make a person sleepy. But 6:00 p.m. feels like 5:00 p.m., and that means more daylight for driving. Yay!

Before I went to bed I set up the coffee, of course. It was 11:00 p.m. Daylight savings hadn’t started yet. But I really couldn’t figure out what time I wanted to set the coffee to brew, with all the time travel that was about to happen while I was sleeping.

So I cheated and set the coffee clock ahead an hour. Suddenly 11:00 p.m. was 12:00 a.m. I wonder if the scientists know how easy it is to travel to the future.

I joked to my sister that now I was worried. What if I forgot that I already set the coffee maker clock ahead. In the morning I might accidentally set it ahead again! What if I kept forgetting! Soon my local time could match my son’s as he’s traveling in Spain!

So, you’re wondering, I’m sure, how this all worked out this morning.

Well, it’s 7:04 a.m. and it feels, somehow like it’s 5:30 a.m.

I hit snooze from 6:00 – 6:45, either because it felt like 5:00 – 5:45, or because I went to sleep at 11:30, which felt like 12:30. We will never know.

I don’t think we are leaving at 7:00, because it’s already past that. But, I guess if I wanted to I could just change the clocks back so we are on time. Now that I understand time travel.

So many clocks just automatically change now that that plan probably won’t work.

Years ago our kitchen clock was up so high, and my then-husband and I probably both had undiagnosed ADHD, that mostly we just waited daylight savings out with that clock. For months the clock would just be an hour off, but lucky for us, when the clocks changed again, we didn’t have to change that one. It was already right.

Well it’s 7:11 a.m., and I’ve had my coffee so it feels more like 6:45 now. I think we might be able to leave the house before 8:00, which will feel maybe like 7:00.

The trip to visit my daughter is 4 hours long. I wonder if today it will feel more like 3.

That’s how this Daylight Savings thing works, right?

My therapist insists I’m not lazy
But she hasn’t seen my corner cabinet

It’s been organized, I swear
But the Tupperware –
which is actually Chinese Food containers mostly –
It just falls wherever it wants,
also do you expect me to lift the smaller ones to put the larger ones underneath
every
time?

It’s a Lazy Susan cabinet
which what the heck
lazy is in it’s name
I wonder what Susan’s therapist thinks about that

This morning
every morning
when I walked into the kitchen, I saw
Lazy Susan
had swung open
Not only does she drop my lids into her abyss
She also can’t stay closed to save her life

Or maybe I didn’t close her last night

And I wondered if my cabinet is trying to teach me something
like patience
or patience adjacent
like perseverance
determination
or maybe not to keep all the Chinese Food leftover containers
or maybe to stop overthinking, you’re thinking

Don’t get me started on my bottom drawer
The baking drawer
Where cocoa powder spilled
I think a year ago
Luckily, I don’t have time for baking anymore

Years ago when I was a coach, a first-grade teacher told me she loved moving to first grade from the upper grades once her own kids were older.

She had an eloquent way of explaining it, and I don’t want to misquote her… but it had something to do with how primary kids still show you how they love you and need you and think you’re great.

Teenagers…well… not so much.

Living by myself with my two amazing teenagers is something.

Wow.

Thank goodness I go to school every day with 6,7 and 8 year olds who draw me pictures, want me to tell them stories, and to listen to all the parts of their day. My students more often than not think I have the right answer. They even laugh at my jokes and love my songs!

I’ll say it again, every day 19 kids laugh at my jokes, love my songs, and learn from the things I teach them.

And then I go home.

If you ever need to knock someone’s self-worth, self-confidence, self-esteem down several pegs, I recommend having them become a single-mom to a few teenage boys.

Most days I’m reminded in multiple ways from a few of my most favorite people, that I’m not funny, not cool, not smart, not right, and that in fact, I’m ruining their otherwise fine day in some way.

I’d love to pivot here and tell you about the good parts to. I’d love to tell you how when we had our recent power outage those very same teenage boys helped change smoke detector batteries, find flashlights and take the dog out in the dark-no-street-lights-no-porch-lights-no-house-lights night. But, this is no place to write about the nice times.

Instead, I’ll have you imagine that power outage, and how one of the only flashlights I could find was my old headlamp. So I wore it around the house, as I tried to make sure we were doing all the things we needed to do, and taking care of all the things we needed to take care of.

“Why are you acting so crazy about this?” One teenager kept asking me.

“It’s not that deep.” I was reminded.

And my favorite…

“Why do you have that on your head? You look like a f!@#ing angler fish.”