If you see me walking around the neighborhood with my dog, Finn, there are a few things you have to understand.

I’ll tell you those things, but now I want to sing it.

If you see me walking by
With my dog on a leash
Look away, baby, look away.

(Couldn’t help it.)

He loves to sniff, and likes to stop often. But that’s not the issue. My ankle has been giving me problems, so I might be hobbling slowly along. But, that is also not the issue. Strangely enough, the fact that I will most likely be holding a bag of poop is also not the issue you need to understand.

You will see me talking to him along the way. It might even be in an odd accent you’ve never heard me speak in during my human interactions.

“Finny,” I might say, “You are the bestest dog.” That’s pretty normal, for dog folks, I think.

But I might also try to have a little extra conversation with him.

“Your birthday bandana is so handsome on you! You have to wear it a few more days since it’s your birthday week, Finny!”

I might even ask him questions, like, “Do you think I should try to do my work as soon as I get home, Finny? Or should I maybe sit on the couch and read? Or, I could write!”

The most embarrassing thing though, is that most likely, my “loyal” pooch will be totally ignoring me, sniffing his nose into the sun and all the leaf piles, wagging his tail, and checking out the neighborhood. Sometimes if I’m very insistent, saying “Finnegan. Don’t you want to look at me? Remember I’m the one walking you!” He will reluctantly turn his head just a little and look at me with dissapointment.

He’s embarrassed to be seen with me, I think.

Sometimes I put my AirPods in and listen to a book or a podcast, but then I feel bad for ignoring him. But something tells me that’s the way he prefers his walks.

Please understand —

If I look like I’m plugged into my AirPods, ignoring my dog, that is because of how he wants it! If you see my dog ignoring me, that is because he has an attitude, and doesn’t want me to bother him on our walks. It’s embarrassing.

So…

If you see me walking by
With my dog on a leash
Look away, baby, look away…
And if we meet on the streets someday
And I don’t know what to say (to my dog)
Look away, baby, look away
Don’t look at me
I don’t want you to see me this way

Here are a few pictures of the bestest dog with an attitude: