I am participating in the March Slice of Life Challenge: A slice a day for all of March.  You should do it too!  Thank you, Two Writing Teachers! Readers, check out their site, and start slicing! 

She’s 14 now. I love the 14 year old L, and I will love her forever.  But, I still wish I could go back in time.

I remember sitting in our hand-me-down armchair, with my tiny newborn baby girl. It was dark everywhere else but the little lamp by the chair.

I remember the weight of her. You know when your are little and you love to play with dolls? And you love when the doll feels like a real baby? The actual weight of a real baby ends up even more perfect than you could have imagined.

I remember her head rested just below my shoulder.

I remember I was so tired, but I also knew that cozy time was fleeting.

I remember the feeling when I decided to try to put her back in her co-sleeper. Sometimes she would wake up and I’d end up nursing her back to sleep. Sometimes she’d let out that little newborn squeak and settle in.

I remember falling asleep on that chair, reading a book one-handed on that chair, listening to my husband snore.

I remember I tried to capture the feeling.

I remember her soft soft head, her little hands.

I remember.

But, I still wish I could go back in time.