“Oh,” I remind my son, “Your TJ Maxx bags are back there too.”
“My God, mom. Can you just let me bring things in without it being such a hullabaloo?”
As I walk in with the Trader Joe’s bags, I think to myself how the things you might say to your friends and they would either think nothing of, or literally thank you for saying are things that can make teenagers so very, very, very mad at you.
That, or, my friends are just constantly repressing their absolute annoyance at me.
There’s nothing like parenting teenagers to make you wonder if you are a regular person with friends who actually love and appreciate you… or maybe you are actually an annoying, ridiculous, strict, rule-following, rule-making-up embarrassment to society.
I tell my 14 year-old this idea that he gets so mad at things that when I say to adults, they usually thank me. He needs an example, of course, and I point out how just a couple minutes before he was so mad when I reminded him there were other bags in the back seat.
He explains that it makes him feel stupid when I give him reminders of things he obviously knows. This is a valid feeling, but I remind him that there is no way I’d ever think he was stupid.
This tends to be how parenting goes these days.
At least they balance it out with being super sweet, and also hilarious.
“I’m just trying to teach you how to be a person!” I said recently, after my 14 year old was so annoyed by the way I was trying to help him figure out how and what to pack for a trip.
“I’m already more of a person than—” he started and I raised my eyebrows.
“Than Finn will ever be!” he finished, naming our dog, of course.
They’re stuck with me, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I just might need extra reminders (for the next few years) from adults that the things I’m saying are rational, normal things.
And if they aren’t, just lie to me and say they are. Or, at the very least, break it to me gently that I am actually as weird as my kids think I am.
On a Thought 
I read this and say prayers for my sister who has a daughter who is 12 going on 30.
If she read your slice she would felt seen and would sigh with gratitude that she is not alone as a mother.
P.S. I just went to a class on writing “scenes” and one BIG take-away was the enormous power of dialogue to create a scene. Hearing you two talking does all the work in this writing.
Pretty sure you can LET THIS ALL GO: “…annoying, ridiculous, strict, rule-following, rule-making-up embarrassment to society.” Not true.
Oh my, yes, I remember those days, unfortunately. It IS perfectly normal for them to be distressed by their parents’ words (and/or existence). I remember hearing somewhere that the reason they push us so hard is to make it easier for them to leave when it is time. Not sure that’s exactly accurate, but I WAS ready for each one to head out on his own by the time they reached that point…
There is a TikTok creator that makes videos about things parent say that upsets their kids. Literally, good morning! This must be a universal struggle. But then one day they grow up and tell you that they found their own apartment.
Oh man, I felt this. I have a 13.5 year old son and experience a lot of this. This really resonated, ““I’m just trying to teach you how to be a person!” I mean, right?? Why don’t they get that we’re just trying to help??