Freshman year of college I had a required math class
Math 100
it was probably called
Ugh, math
I probably said
I can’t do math
I recall
it was an overview
all the math I should have understood in high school
algorithms, graphs, formulas…
explained, connected, practiced in some magical way
to make sense
or maybe I was finally ready to learn
In third grade, I crossed the hall
for my math class
full of timed tests
and feeling dumb because
I can’t do math
I recall
timers and disappointment
things I should have memorized
but didn’t, couldn’t
turning my paper over to draw pictures and count
6×9 equaled 6 dots drawn 9 times
Always on the first row every time
the timer beeped
Sophomore year of college I started my
math emphasis
a special program for teachers who loved math
and me
I can’t do math
I recall
3 hours every Tuesday night for 3 years
learning about conceptual math
an entire semester on one problem about pretzels and lemonade
I still got confused, lost in the step, turning myself in math circles
one night the professor asked me to share my thinking and I said
no
I had been honest on my application:
I was horrible at math. I’m worried about teaching math. I need to be a better math teacher for math students like me
But 3 hours a week x 3 years equaled understanding that
it’s okay to be confused, math is more than memorizing,
and turning my paper over to draw 6 dots 9 times meant
I actually could do math!
Student teaching in sixth grade
advanced math
full of sixth-graders
with more math smarts than I will ever have
I recall
I got really good at questioning
listening, and saying things like
pretend I don’t understand. How would you explain your thinking to me?
which honestly, is a
damn good math talk prompt
Decades later, I have taught
a lot
of students
that they
can
do the math
(even if they have to turn their paper over,
draw some dots
and count)
On a Thought 
Yes, good for you! I’ve found those of us who have struggled have more empathy and compassion for struggling students. My struggle was in applying myself, ha! I recognized that in many kids.
As a math interventionist right now, I so love hearing about your math story through school. Your students are so lucky to have you as you can share with them your math history and help them write their own math stories in a positive way.
This is the epitome of good teaching. I remember elementary majors during my undergrad years being modified and traumatized by “Math for Elementary Ed Majors.” That was enough to send me to secondary ed. Now I tell folks I do Macy’s math, figure percent off!