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My story is going to bore you.
Who wants to hear that someone is
STILL COUGHING?
Who wants to hear that someone has gone to the doctor’s
THREE TIMES?
Who wants to hear that someone does’t have pneumonia, but is
STILL COUGHING?
I used to have a real doctor. He wasn’t perfect
no, not by any means.
But his name was Dr. Baker,
Same as the doctor on Little House on the Prairie
and he was older than me.
He knew me, and listened to me –
and then he retired
The bastard. Just like my dentist I loved too.
I finally chose a new doctor at the office to be our designated doctor. He was wasn’t perfect –
but he listened
and then suddenly he wasn’t working there anymore, but nobody told me I needed to stop listing Dr. Miller as my primary care
Just one day they said, “Oh, yea. That report was sent to Dr. Miller, but actually, he doesn’t work here anymore. So that’s why nobody read it.”
Cool. Cool. Cool.
So now I just see whoever they can give me.
0/10
Don’t recommend.
I swear I’m trying to make this long boring story
a short boring story.
So, anyway, as I’m sure you have gathered, (or heard,) I have this
COUGH.
And I see a doctor.
He’s nice even though he’s like 12 years old.
He wants to give me the magic cough pearls.
I say “No, thank you. Those don’t work for me.”
He gives me some other medicine. Yay!
It helps!
Medicine is finished, the
COUGH comes back.
I see another doctor.
He’s nice, actually board certified this time.
So that’s good.
He wants to give me the magic cough pearls.
I say “No, thank you. Those don’t work for me.”
He gives me some more medicine. Yay!
It helps! Again!
Medicine is finished, the
COUGH comes back.
I see another doctor.
She’s nice, I guess.
She wants to give me the magic cough pearls.
I say “No, thank you. Those don’t work for me.”
She gives me another medicine
Makes me promise to take it all
Even if the x-ray comes back clear.
I promise.
She promises to message me right away with the x-ray results.
Spoiler alert: x-ray is clear, I keep my promise, she does not.
The story is almost over, I promise.
My cough gets worse, so I message the doctor.
She responds hours and hours later
with a prescription for
The magic pearls.
She notes that if my cough isn’t better in 1-2 weeks, I should make an appointment.
1-2 weeks? I’ve been coughing for over a month!
Now I’m annoyed. Does nobody listen?
I message back
“No, thank you. Those don’t work for me.”
I give her some other options, as you know, a person who has had my lungs for almost half a century.
She responds
hours and hours later
telling me I should make an appointment
with Dr. Miller
to re-evaluate my cough.
Remember Dr. Miller?
He doesn’t practice there anymore.
I tell her as much, but I’m proud to say,
I don’t tell her all the things I want to say.
Isn’t that mature of me?
On a Thought 
OMG! That’s terrible, especially the “See Dr. Miller” part at the end. Wow…. I really like my doctor, but I know he’s going to retire in the next few years. My adult son sees someone at the same practice who I also really like. Let me know if you want names. : )
In the meantime, I hope you get this cough dealt with for good! (Any chance it’s asthma-related? Or has turned into that? After I’d been sick I sometimes used to get a lingering cough that was due to my asthma.)
What a circus … in all respects of the word–current meaning and ancient morphology… just continuous circles. We’ve had lots of changes for our PCP–retirement, leaving to join a medical mission group, taking family leave (twice in three years)… , but thankfully my cardiologists remain stable. Here’s hoping you get over the cough quickly. Your verse form for telling the “story” is well done.
I tell my students to PLEASE study and consider being doctors. WE need them. Clearly. Fingers crossed you have a happier ending to this story next week.