It’s not that I didn’t see the huge “Wet Floor” cone in the bathroom. I saw it. I looked around and saw no wetness anywhere. Then I picked the cleanest stall.
But, when I left the stall, the bottom 1/3 of my pant legs were soaking wet. It’s never good to notice wet pants in the public bathroom. I looked down and only then did I see the lake surrounding the toilet.
I took a deep breath, and propped my foot up under the hand dryer. I stood there trying to remain calm.
Of course someone else walked into the bathroom.
“Be careful!” I said. And then I tried to quickly tell this stranger why I was doing an odd stance at the wall under the dryer.
Switching legs, I wondered how long a dryer that said “Feel the Power” would take to dry the bottom of my pants.
Too long — it takes too long. So I just left, hoping nobody would notice that the bottom of my pants were dark. I was also hoping it was just water.
Sadly, this all felt a little familiar. Almost 20 years ago, on the way back from our honeymoon, I went to the airplane bathroom, and green liquid seeped up my pant legs. For the rest of the flight I felt it seeping up higher and higher, and the chemical smell gave me a terrible headache. I thought about that story as I walked around the store, frowning.
I want this story to mean something… “Every 20 years, watch your step!” Or, “When you think things are bad, remember it’s not green liquid seeping up your pants!” Or even, “Don’t try to go on errands after school!” But the reality is, as I walked around the store quickly, with my pants a little heavier and a grimace on my face, the only thing that cheered me up was thinking, “Oh! I can slice this!”