Part of Slice of Life by Two Writing Teachers
A Slice of the Eye-roll
She rolls her eyes – just a flick upwards. She’s so mad.
Grabs the paper from me. She’s so mad.
Get’s in the elevator. She’s so mad.
It looks like she is going to stand facing the corner, but she turns around and I laugh and tell her “I thought you were so mad you were going to go stand in the corner.”
It’s always worth a try at a little joke.
She laughs, but quickly. Like a groan. She’s so mad.
She says, “You didn’t ask me if I wanted to go.”
I say, “You’re right.”
She’s so mad.
But the elevator keeps going on its short trip.
We’re there, we walk in and she starts filling out paperwork. She’s so mad.
Jams the pen to the paper, scribbles notes.
Rolls her eyes like a teenager, yes.
But also tantrums like a very quiet toddler.
Then a service dog walks by. He’s adorable, decides to nap.
She takes a break from being mad. Because, dog.
“I know what I’ll do whenever you are really mad at me!” I say. “I’ll just bring a puppy with me! Or flash a picture of a dog. Then I know you’ll smile.”
She rolls her eyes again, but this time with the smile still on her face.
This eye roll is friendlier, it has humor.
7 thoughts on “A slice of the Eye-roll”
Top-notch uses of repetition and rhythm in this verse. Thanks for sharing!
I love how you wrote about this moment!
I love that you wrote about this moment and how it ended in that friendlier eye-roll! So get it! Wink!
Loved the way you expressed the change of emotions 🙂
What a great slice – I love how you brought this moment to life. The repetition and the step by step details slow the reader down and invite us in. I have two teenagers so I can relate.
Well captured moments and shifts in mood.
I too am familiar with the friendly and not so friendly eye roll. Isn’t the eye roll amazing? It says soooo much with no words. The amount of communication is astounding! I appreciated this post today and I agree, it never hurts to try and throw in a joke. Occasionally it totally works!
I loved the repetition and rhythm of “she’s so mad” – it moved the story forward while making me curious about what had happened. (I love that I’m still curious, and yet the story also feels complete!) A truly well-crafted slice!