The kids and I – we want to get away. We dream of a summer road trip.

We spend the morning looking at pictures online. Then we get out our National Park map book and the Road Trips book I recently bought.

I slide the iPad away and L laughs. “Way to put the computers away and use the books!” she says. Or something like that.

E opens to a random page in the atlas: Grand Teton National Park. We look it up int he Road Trip book, we open up the computer for more pictures.

The kids and I – we dream about the pictures we see. E has always dreamed of going to Arizona, or Wyoming.

“This will make me so happy.” E says

“Remember, ” I warn them all, “We are just brainstorming here. I don’t know what is possible.”

We look at cabins and towns and roads.

We like to plan road trips, and we like to dream while we look at pictures of mountains and lakes and fields of flowers and bears.

Wait.

While exploring the website, we decide to click on how to explore safely in “Bear Country.”

At first it’s fine. All good information: Don’t leave food out, make noise on the trail, stay away if the bear hasn’t noticed you, don’t climb trees.

But then there’s the section on If a bear charges you.

That’s when the kids are not so sure.

“I don’t know if I can follow all these safety protocols…” E says.

And then we get to the section that says “If you are attacked at night or if you feel you have been stalked and attacked as prey, fight back.”

So now bears are going to be stalking us?

“Well, we have bears around here. Bears are cute!” someone says.

And I stupidly say “Well, these are grizzlies though.”

So we look up picture of grizzly bears.

And some of them do really look like cute creatures, walking through fields.

But, um.

Yes, we googled. Only 1 death by bear a year.

Yes, bear spray.

But… can we do it? Can we hike when bears might be around any corner?

The kids and I – we want to go on a trip and not get attacked by a bear.

Time Travel

From my couch, I can stare at the picture of my grandma’s house.

I can pretend I’m back there on Borbeck.

Is this how time travel works?

How does memory work for you?
Can you remember whole days? Close your eyes and remember entire conversations?
How much continuous memory can you have at a time?
Is it like time travel?

Or are you like me — do you remember things in slices?
The toys under the dining room hutch.
The big table with blue and white dishes.
A column between the living room and dining room – perfect for leaning.
Aunts and Uncles and cousins filling the living room with the glow of big Christmas Lights on the tree in the corner?
M&Ms and ice cream served with pretzels.
The way the sidewalk led down to the garden shed.
The sound of the porch.
The azaleas.
The shelf in the corner with photo albums.
The saltines in the canister on the kitchen counter – cookies were sometimes in the next canister over.

And oh – the chalkboard in the kitchen.
I had to stand on the vinyl chairs underneath, but once I was up there…?
Oh that chalkboard.
It was meant for chores, I think. A leftover from the 10 children household.
But to me it was a place to draw, to list important things, to play school.

I can’t travel back in time,
but I can sit on the couch and stare at the picture of my grandma’s house.