All posts by onathought

A Slice of Letting Go

Slice of LIfe

This is part of Two Writing Teachers’ Slice of Life. Find out more, and join in here!

Home. It’s where the heart is. Home is where your family is. It’s certainly not the big box you keep all your furniture in, right?

Let go. This is my mantra these days, as we have gotten our house ready to sell.

I said it to myself as I boxed up, threw out, gave away stuff. I said it as we staged the house, making it look like we would never in a million years leave legos all over the floor, or crumbs on the counter, or clutter on the dining room table, or laundry in the washer.

Let go. I said it as I stood outside in my green backyard next to my apple tree, painting the last of a few doors that needed to be finished. I repeated it as I looked at the view of mountains and blue sky.

I say it each time I ask my husband  to remind me why we decided to move. (We need more space, it’s time to move closer to my school, it’s good for the kids in the long run, it’s best for our family. Repeat after me; We need more space, it’s time to move closer to my school, it’s good for the kids in the long run, it’s best for our family…)

Let go: As we turned on all the lights, put never-used white towels on hooks, never-used tablecloth on the table, never-used throw pillows, for showings and open houses; and as we took all those things off again. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat, each time we ushered kids out of the house.

I remind myself to let go when I tell L that, “Moving is hard. And, we can do hard things.” I also remind myself that deciding to move when your daughter is 12 is maybe not the best decision.

Let go: As we initialed 20 times accepting an offer.

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Now I sit in my dining room. It’s pleasant. It’s clean. There’s no clutter. (Well, a little has crept back on shelves and the coffee table, corners…. if you know where to look, to be honest) Our personal pictures are packed away from the staging, and Mr. Thought tells me this is good. We are slowly letting go of this being our home.

So I work to let go. I focus on the positives.We finally made the decision to move after years of debate, and we followed through! We had a fast sale! (Well, knock on wood… still lots of hoops to jump through, t’s to cross, i’s to dot…) We are blessed with the chance to get a house that fits our family better! A new young couple gets to start their life in this great house, in this wonderful neighborhood! It feels good to think about their excitement.

But, I still tear up when I talk about it, and it’s still hard for me to think about this not being our home.

A Slice of numbers

Slice of LIfe Part of Slice of Life by Two Writing Teachers. Head over there for info and links to more Slicing!

*I'm not teaching math this year. . . my numbers may be a little fuzzy...* 


It's a new record: A Slice of numbers and gratitude

It's a new record!
2 weeks in, and I'm behind
3 stacks of assignments to assess
12 evaluation domain descriptors to describe
2 workshops; reading & writing to get up and running
I mean, we're up, but we aren't running.
Or maybe, we're running, but we aren't up. . .
1 reading unit to try out
3 writing units of study 
2 read alouds
4 parts to a new Positive Behavior Management System - It's pretty Fancy, so I capitalized it.
2 new iPad minis to set up  
50 kidblog accounts, classroom library accounts, chrome books and their cases, binders, assignment books, pencil pouches. . . 
50 times I've raised my hand for attention..magic!

It's a new record! 
50 kids to get to know
100+ parents too
2 snack coordinators
10 allergies

It's a new record!
1 migraine
5 headaches
20 cups of coffee
10 soda stream seltzers
1,000 ounces of water
14 two-minute bathroom breaks
I'm not going to count the Advil
...or the chocolate

It's a new record!
2 weeks in, and I've needed
2 substitute teachers in a row
5 students exclaim, "You're back!" and "Are your kids feeling better?" 
50 smiles
10 hugs
1,000 "hellos," "have a good nights," "see you in the mornings," giggles and jokes
4 mindfulness practice sessions
20 more books on my To Read List
1 Apple for the teacher, wrapped in a napkin, left on my desk

It's a new record!
2 weeks in 
50 kids I'm getting to know
2 learning communities, starting to grow
1 classroom we are starting to call home









 




A mid-week Celebration

celebrate-image (late…)

This week is not going how it is supposed to go… My son is sick and home from school. If you have children, you know that this change in routine can really impact a day! All the work that Mr. Thought was planning on doing during the day hasn’t been able to happen, and our house selling schedule had to be pushed back about 4 days.

Yikes.

Breathe in, breathe out.

I know it isn’t the weekend… but I need to celebrate, Ruth Ayres style! So I’m celebrating my kids today, even though I’m late to the party.

If you were a fly on the wall last night,  you would have experienced…

  • My 12 year old daughter painting a miniature gnome with nail polish. Not a picture of a gnome — a little plastic gnome was getting a makeover.
  • Everyone watching science videos on the iPad (this started with H’s homework research… he was looking up glow sticks.)

Later you would have heard….

  • My 8 year old do an incredible Steven Wright impression. (He can also do Bob Dylan…)
  • My kids ask me to tell Steven Wright jokes as part of the night time reading (Yes, I sense the theme here. And I don’t even mind how much explaining these jokes take, especially for the 5 year old. I mean, really, Steven Wright, AKA “Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time!” and “What’s another word for thesaurus?” oh.. and “I intend to live forever. So far, so good.”) I might do a lot of things wrong, but at least my kids know how to laugh!
  • My daughter ask us to switch to reading El Deafo, and everyone agreeing. They love this graphic novel… all of them… 5, 8 , 12… Can’t complain about bedtime reading.

This morning you would have heard

  • My boys waking up and talking about 16+5. Finally E realized why he was getting it wrong, “I forgot that 5 was a 3 and a 2.” Oh. Okay. Awesome. You are in kindergarten! Go you!
  • After this morning math, H ask E, “Can you pave paradise, so I can put up a parking lot?”
  • All the kids shout “Goodbye! I love you, Mama!” as I drove away to school… (On time, in fact. Yay!)

Celebrate! Breathe! These are my goals.

Celebrate!

celebrate-image  August is a great time to Celebrate with Ruth Ayres!

Last week I started a blog post called "Why I hate August." 
A letter to my kids
my own kids (That's what I call them. My school kids are my kids)
August is when my own kids start saying things like 
"Are you going to school again?" and
"You're always busy." and
"Mama. Mama. Mama. Mama." 

And I'm sorry. 
I feel sorry. 
I should be squeezing out the last, best parts of summer
weaning us from too much netflix
But instead I'm squeezing in my work. 

But, I love being a teacher.
Luckiest job in the world
Even in August, 
the stress has purpose
and so much of the work is fun
It's no secret that I enjoy setting up my classroom.

Thankfully, Ruth Ayres has way to Celebrate!

So I'm celebrating...
Getting to know my students before school even starts
via emails I asked their families to send me
because I believe that relationships are the building blocks for learning
and also because kids are cool, and it's so neat to get to know them! 

I'm celebrating...
My classroom came together
it's cozy 
full of freshly alphabetized books
twinkle lights
and the softest biggest rug I could afford 
(and beg my husband to help me transport in)

I'm celebrating 
bookaday
and the 73+ books I got to read this summer
Sure, I wish there had been more novels
but I do love picture books!

I'm celebrating
teaching writing again, after a year's break
excited because writing is power
and soon I get to help 
students find their slices

I'm celebrating 
my donors choose project was fully funded!
soon, 2 ipads will arrive

I'm celebrating
all
the
work
because it's such lucky work to have.

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A Slice of people watching: Middle Son Edition

Slice of LIfe  . . . and. . . 11037905_10154067646782516_5750329657918691438_n

Part of Slice of Life by Two Writing Teachers. Head over there for info and links to more Slicing! Today’s slice inspired by today’s prompt on #TeachersWrite

I’m driving and my attention is on the road, but with three kids in the backseat, my rearview mirror glances award me more than a road view. I’m watching you. You are joking with your sister and brother. I hear you. Your laughter is a delight. You are funny, but your words quickly become cutting. I don’t know why. Your little brother is growing a thick skin. I give you reminders to be kind, and tell you to stop. And then I watch as you decide to put your hands out your window. All I see is your hands raised to the sky, and I know that feeling: the air pushing on you, the wind so loud. Your hair is blowing from your face, and I wonder what is happening in your mind. I’m hoping you are feeling peaceful with the white noise, and the chance to let go of impulse control and just breathe. The next time I glance back you have a water bottle hanging out of the window too, and you are experimenting with drops. They are falling out of the bottle directly into the car. You have invented a misting air conditioner, and nobody else in the backseat seems to mind. I wonder about the water since I can’t see it leaving the bottle, but I can see it on your face and hair, and I can hear your brother and sister laugh as you say “Our own rainstorm!” I’m proud of myself. I smile at your antics, and your joy. Checking myself, I don’t feel an urge to have you stop.

We turn down the road that leads to the coffee shop, and suddenly your brother and sister complain loudly, “Ugh!” and “He dumped the rest of his slushy out the window!” and “It’s all over the car!”

I’m annoyed, and I’m sure the drive through barista thought it was weird, but that’s okay. I decided that it’s no big deal. My annoyance is easily forgotten if I just picture you: hands out the window, hair blowing in the breeze.

Slices: Bikes, rides, and getting back on

Slice of LIfe Part of Slice of Life by Two Writing Teachers. Head over there for info and links to more Slicing!

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It’s a long story, why everyone needed a bike at the same time –Why we ended up at the store even after other, more sustainable, cheaper options were suggested. But that’s where we were. All the other shoppers looked at me like I was crazy – buying 4 bikes at once. I wanted to explain to each evil eye: “My bike was stolen 2 years ago! My daughter’s bike is too small and broken! My 8 year old has been riding my hand me down bike for 2 years! It has no gears! My 5 year old tried a goodwill bike last year and it wouldn’t pedal, and the training wheels bent…” But instead, I smiled and laughed at us… the kids riding their bikes to the checkout, me wheeling mine while I shouted after them.

“Be careful! Slow down!”

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Even the woman ringing up our purchase seemed mad. I told her that the Assembler had told us my youngest son’s bike was $50, not $80. Even after her manager gave her the go ahead to charge us $49.95, she scoffed at us, annoyed, I guess, that I was getting a better bargain on my smallest bike purchase.

IMG_2949The next day we strapped our bikes on to the van, and headed to a nearby bike path with my sister, Aunt Awesomeness. After a small mishap of using the bike rack incorrectly (Note: don’t strap it to the window!) we were on our way. Aunt Awesomeness kept up with the big kids while I followed E. He was a trooper for 5 whole miles on his training wheels, and this is the true slice I want to remember: My bike ride with E.

I tried not to bump into him when he slowed down, and I tried to limit my yelling of “Be careful!” as much as possible. I tried to teach him how to use his brakes on the downhills, and how to keep pedaling on the uphills. I tried not to scream as he gained speed going down the steep parts, and not to cry when he fell. I told him it was okay to fall, and that he needed to get back on. (I only took a picture of the fall after he was okay. I promise.)

I breathed it in: the beautiful day and his little voice calling to me from his bike:

“This uses energy!”

“Is this exercise?”

“This isn’t motorized so it didn’t use gas.”

“Doesn’t this feel like we are going across the country? And I’m not even thirsty yet!”

….(5 minutes later…) “I need a break. I’m thirsty.”

“Did you see me going down that hill? It’s as fun as LEGOS! Even funner.”

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A Slice of Comment Codes

Slice of LIfe

Part of Slice of Life by Two Writing Teachers. Head over there for information and links to more Slicing!

Dear Students,

When you see your report card and it says Comment 07: “Behaves appropriately,” will you know that what I meant is that I see how hard it is for you each day? Will you know I appreciate how you listened to my reminders, even though you wanted to roll your eyes?

When you see Comment C13: “Works well independently,” will you know that I respect your quiet way? That I wish I had sat down next to you more often?

How about Comment C05: “Positively contributes to classroom environment?” Please know that I appreciated your smile, and your kind words, and your positive leadership. Keep choosing happy as much as you can!

Comment C17: “Often requires prompting to focus and stay on task.” I don’t want to put this comment on your final report card. You and I both know that focus isn’t your strength yet. You have taken my prompting, and you have moved on. Sometimes you were annoyed at my prompting, and sometimes you took it in stride. School is hard work, thank you for bringing your best.

Comment C20: “Needs to make better use of work time.” Me too. Comment C28: “Needs to improve organization.” Don’t we all?

Your 6th grade report card will all too soon be a thing of your past, just like your 6th grade year. I want to make new comment codes for you:

I heard you.

I saw you.

I learned something from you.

Thank you.

A love note to my students

I wore my “gratitude” bracelet today as I proctored our state test. And even though I occasionally wanted to whistle Rue’s song, I didn’t. I just did my job. I walked. I monitored. I walked. I monitored. I walked. . . you get the picture, I’m sure. Since I’m supposed to monitor without looking at or reading the test itself, I decided to closely read my students instead.  In the book Falling In Love with Close Reading, Kate Roberts and Christopher Lehmen remind us that we closely read what we love. (Read this post from Kate Roberts for a great perspective on this concept.)

So I closely read my students, who you must know, I already loved. I jotted down a love note to them on a my very own piece of scrap paper.

Dear Students,

I think I love you even more today.  You know this isn’t my favorite time of school, but right now I’m full of gratitude for you.

I love that I can tell you don’t want to be silent, and I am so thankful that you are silent anyway. I love how you whisper, “This is so suspenseful!” as I finish handing out scrap paper and start reading the directions.

I love how you roll your eyes, in a friendly way when I ask once again for any electronic devices. I love how you mouth the words to my directions as I read them. I love your twitchy legs, and your bored smiles, your hard work and even your not so hard work. (You – I see you’re finished after just a few minutes. You’re so bright and creative. I’m sorry you are having a hard time putting that all into a text dependent analysis.)

You all sit behind privacy screens, even after your work is done. I watch you fidget and you settle. I love that you chose to read Calvin & Hobbs, and you chose Lacrosse Magazine. You picked up Diary of a Wimpy Kid. I love how many of you are reading Harry Potter books, Maze Runner, and Lord of the Rings. Everyone seems to have the perfect post-test choice. And I love the way some of you aren’t reading. Your heads are down. You’re done for now. That’s okay.

I love the way you stacked your  mints, and lined up your pencils. And then how you stack and line them again. And again. I love the way you put your book down, and pick it back up. I love that you ask for extra time, and I love that you don’t. I love that you stick your finger through your tissue to make a puppet. I love that you silently cheer when testing is done, and remain polite and silent as I read the directions to close your test booklets, even though you have already given your test to me.

We’re in this together, folks. Thanks for being such great people. I am lucky to spend my days with you.

Love,

Your Proctor Teacher

A Slice of Anger, in rhyme

Slice of LIfe

Part of Slice of Life by Two Writing Teachers. Head over there for information and links to more Slicing! It’s also April… So poetry it is!

I’m angry.

I'm angry.
So I’m choosing rhyme 
and a little bit of meter
to tell you about some
of the testing today, dear reader. 

I’m angry. 
So, I need to write
and hope that somebody is starting a fight. . . 
That people will stand up for 
what 
is 
right.

I’m angry.
So, I don’t quite trust
myself to write
something real, but not mean
before I head to bed tonight.

I’m angry. 
This testing day wasn’t 
so hard 
for me
It was not
overly 
stressful
I handled it fine
My students didn’t cry
Nobody had a fit
They sat where I 
told them to sit

Kids sucked on mints
behind privacy screens
and the testing cop 
wasn’t too mean.
He pointed to a hood on someone’s head
and handed me a piece of paper.
Nothing was said.

We had it easy in my room. 
Maybe because 
most of the kids I proctor
had breakfast and lunch
and will have supper.
Most are white
and middle class.
Most of them read pretty well, pretty fast.

I taught them to breathe
whenever they felt stress.
I told them they are worth 
so much more
than this test.

I assured them that whatever happened
our school wouldn’t close down
that I’d still be around
that they would be fine
even if they messed up 
a few times. 

I decided some things
while everything was silent
while I walked and I walked (and I walked) 
the aisles of this new classroom climate

I decided you should 
opt 
your 
kids 
out.
I decided it’s something we all need to shout.
I decided I’m angry 
at all the rules
and all this wasted time in our schools. 

I decided It’s about civil rights
and so much more.
It’s about standing up for others --
even if your own kids are fine 
not stressed
have a high score.

It’s about taking back assessment
so that it can mean something real.
It’s about caring more about 
how the actual children feel.