Category Archives: Family

A Slice of Encouragement

July 8, 2014#nerdlution, Family, Slice of Lifeonathought

Part of Slice of Life by Two Writing Teachers . Head over there for information and links to more Slicing!

run, stop, turn around
off the path
backwards
forwards
s l o w 
    d o w n

stop.

I’m running. I’m stopping and turning and watching for my kids, who are in various places, getting behind or ahead. My youngest keeps veering off the path, or getting tired on his plasma car. This isn’t what you would call my best run ever. It’s better when my husband comes and helps to watch the kids, and walks with them when they want to go off the track and into the park. I have tried this without him before, and it was a disaster. But, it’s exercise, and I’m grateful for the beautiful (hot) morning, and the kids who agreed to come with me, to our beautiful park.

I see a woman park her jeep, and get herself ready to run. She puts her headphones on, and does that little head tilt of readiness. I’m jealous. She’s alone! Her run will just be about her run. We cross paths often, as she runs and I stop with E, my 4 year old. Occasionally we pass when I’m actually running too. We smile at each other each time. Her smile is kind, while mine most likely looks a little like a “I-can’t-believe-I’m-trying-to-exercise-still-with-these-kids-becoming-less-and-less-cooperative” smile.

E is done. He stops his plasma car, takes off his helmet and shrugs his shoulders. “I’m hot.” So I do some lunges while he does some 4-year old jumping jacks, and we go under a tree to do crunches (E does the cutest crunches you ever saw, with his legs down, basically a nap with some slight head movements.)

The runner approaches me, with her same kind smile. “Keep it up! You’re doing a great job.” She hands me a bottle of water, I thank her and she walks away.

My eyes are about to tear from this kindness and morale boost, but luckily I’m with my three children. E and H jump on top of me as I try to do heel touches. I stop for a drink of my gifted water, and H says, “I hope she didn’t poison the water.” I pretend to be poisoned, we all laugh and we are ready to go home.

Thank you, stranger, for the water and the encouragement. In my inconsistent and slow running life, I’ve so far been impressed by the kindness of other runners. Everyone cheers other runners on, nobody seems to care that I don’t look like a runner. Best of all, none of the encouragement I’ve gotten seems condescending to me, even though I should wear this shirt for all my runs:

Hot, Popcorn

July 1, 2014Familyonathought

Part of Slice of Life by Two Writing Teachers. Head over there for information and links to more Slicing!

It’s hot

“No, Humid.” Mr. Thought tells me.

And late. The kids are finally in bed (how do people do summer bedtime?) in the least amount of pajamas possible. I taught them my trick for humid nights from when I was a kid: a cold wet washcloth on your face. Well, that was a mistake. I forgot about washcloth refills when they aren’t cold anymore and 4 year olds who make toys out of everything. I fall asleep as the kids fall asleep, listening to Mr. Thought read Harry Potter.

But then I wake up, and go downstairs and Mr. Thought and I make popcorn. Because what hot humid summer night is complete without some popcorn, and Netflix? It’s good popcorn too – air popped with the perfect amount of flavor. Procrastinating my own bedtime may have something to do with the air conditioning that is downstairs but not upstairs where, you know… it’s hot.

“No, Humid.” Mr. Thought tells me.

Dear Breeze

April 9, 2014Familyonathought

Dear Breeze,

I remember 15 years ago, coming home from my honeymoon and meeting you. You were a fluff of black and white fur, and obviously the cutest pupper-dog ever ever. Your energy was unbounded. We all practiced the “dominance hold” with your head under our arm, as we taught you that we were the boss. But mostly we just played with you, pet you and snuggled you. I didn’t get to live with you, Breeze, but I loved you like a dog-sister. I loved you for your quiet tail-wagging and your loud barking (only when you had something to say). I loved you for your soft fluffy-ness, and your soft demeanor with my children ever since they were babies. I loved the way you growled as you played with your hard plastic ball in the backyard. That indestructible ball was all yours. I loved the way you chased tennis balls, and pulled on the leash to go where you wanted to, but always tried to listen. I loved how you knew when it was time to go hang out at the farm when mom and dad were going on vacation. I love the way you loved us when we came to hang out.

We walked over this morning to say goodbye. L was crying before we even left our house. Don’t it always seem to go, that you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone. We pet you and scritched your soft head. I think you knew. We tried not to cry, tried to stay strong for you. I wanted to say goodbye, but I didn’t want you to be scared of leaving. Aunt C came too and sat down next to you. She scratched your head and said “Oh Breeze. We’ll see you on the other side, girl.”

None of us wanted to leave to go to school. Leaving meant that it was real, that we wouldn’t get to snuggle you. I spent the drive to school crying. Thoughts popped in my brain; your fluffy puppy days, how it has been so long since I’ve heard you bark, seen you jump or play.

. . .

At school, I go outside for recess and look up in the clouds. I imagine you romping around, like you used to love to romp in the snow. The snow. It just stopped being cold, and you won’t get to play in the warm weather ever again. I hope there are ways to get scratched and snuggled, walked and played with wherever you are.

So many people talk about loyal dogs and masters. I’m sure you were loyal, and I know my parents were in charge where you were concerned… but I don’t believe animals have owners. I do believe you were our dog, though. You are part of our family. Always.

#sol14 March 11 Short but Sweet

March 11, 2014Family, Slice of Lifeonathought

Slice of LIfe

I am participating in the March Slice of Life Challenge: A slice a day for all of March. You should do it too! Check it out here. Thank you, Two Writing Teachers!

Spring! It actually feels like spring – for two days in a row. We have taken two walks downtown. Yesterday, we walked down for a day on the town: lunch, the library and the candy shop.

Sadly, the candy shop is closed on Mondays.

Not to worry – I got the kids ice cream instead. Today we walked down to the candy shop again. The sign said, “Sorry! I will be leaving early today for an appointment.” Yikes. Luckily they were still open. We just made it! Something tells me I’m not the first to joke to the owner, “Look! They’re like kids in a candy store!”

The kids spent their $1.00, and I got some root beer candies – one of those tastes that brings me back.

We walked home, fueled by penny candy, and saw so many people out and about. It’s one of my favorite parts of spring, to be outside with my children and see the neighborhood waking up from winter. We stopped to admire a puppy, and the woman with the dog smiled and said, “Everyone’s coming out of their hiding places today!”

She’s right. And we are so ready to come out for good! Goodbye winter!

#sol14 March 10 From My Chair

March 10, 2014Family, Slice of Lifeonathought

I am participating in the March Slice of Life Challenge: A slice a day for all of March. You should do it too! Check it out here. Thank you, Two Writing Teachers!

From My Chair

From my chair
I see

Toy Story's Woody, face down in an awkward split
an old finger knitted rope piled and tangled on the floor
Buzz Lightyear on the coffee table, on top of 
a barbie, a doll shoebox, a marker, plastic scissors, an open puzzle box, with puzzles from two days ago slowly breaking, a potholder, and some mail

An open DVD binder is on the floor near the TV

a heart shaped plastic cookie cutter
a cat toy
a pair of gloves on the dining room table

My coffee cup

My daughter resting on the couch 
next to her crumpled fleece and her stuffed cow pillow

Jackets are piled on the banister
and on the hooks 
shoes litter the entryway

My boys are on the floor
legos surround them
Snapshots of their imagination 
echo through the living room

One day I won’t step on legos
as I pick up marker caps, dolls and game pieces,
I won’t wonder when I'll find  
my next quiet moment 

From my chair
I will see grown-up things
and toys will be packed away

I will cry
I know I will cry

#sol14 March: Celebrate Saturday Spring

March 9, 2014Celebrate, Family, Slice of Lifeonathought

I am participating in the March Slice of Life Challenge: A slice a day for all of March. You should do it too! Check it out here. Thank you, Two Writing Teachers!

And. . .

So glad to be participating in the Celebrate link up. Thank you, Ruth Ayres for this awesome Saturday tradition.

Celebration Slice One: Today started my Spring Break. Sure, there’s still snow on the ground, and my “break” is more of a pause, with just 2 days off. However, I woke up this morning determined to put some spring in my step, and celebration in my day. I get to spend 4 days with my beautiful children, and this morning those children started the day playing together happily… so…..

Celebration Slice Two: I decided to make some oatmeal cookies for a breakfast treat. This was an exercise in patience for sure. I usually base my cookies off of this recipe, but for some reason I used this recipe today. With both recipes, I substitute half a banana per egg, and I add chocolate chips to the one that doesn’t have them. Such good cookies, and you can pretend they are a healthy breakfast: gluten free, vegan, oatmeal! (shhh…. we just don’t mention the chocolate chips.)

Because my kitchen is still (forever?) in a state of renovation, I can never find anything – so I mixed my cookies with one dough hook in my hand mixer.

I miss my stand mixer. The motor burned out (with actual smoke) years ago, when I tried to make galaxy playdough for H’s science birthday party. As for my hand mixer, it worked fine until one one of the beaters broke. (H and E were using it for an invention…) Now I can only find one dough hook. I guess it’s time to go find some replacement parts online! Just as I decided that my one dough hook would do the trick, and all was well, realized my baking soda was depleted. (The kids did science experiments awhile ago, and I keep forgetting to buy more…) I dumped all the baking soda in the cookies and hoped for the best. As the cookies were baking, I thought to myself how this was definitely a slice of life…but time would tell if it could also be a celebration. The cookies were a little crumblier than usual… but they were still delicious and popular with the kids and grandparents who came for “Coffee Hour.”

I had to hide some because E kept sneaking back for more.

Celebration Slice Three: The snow started melting and the temperature crept up towards 50 degrees! We played with our neighbors. There’s nothing like fresh air to make you celebrate the day. And when you are 4 or 7 or 10. . . I bet it feels even more like heaven.

Jackets shed
Bikes ridden
Snow moved 
Snow melted
Waterways & dams created
Shirt shed
("No,H - Go put a shirt on" was said.)

A SLICE of the message

January 24, 2014Family, Slice of Lifeonathought

This is a very late Slice of Life, a link up started by Two Writing Teachers. It’s late, but I say it counts! I wrote it for Tuesday, and just now had the chance to actually post it.

Slice of Life: Martin Luther King Jr. Day

My children’s school puts on a Martin Luther King Jr. Day play each year on this day. This was the second year my daughter participated in the play, and the first year they did a performance at night – which means it was my first chance to watch it.

I thought I had everything planned and figured out. Mr. Thought will do school pick up, karate preparation, and karate drop off. When I come home and change from my #nerdultion exercise attire back into regular clothes, I will pack the kids sandwiches for a “van picnic.” Mr. Thought will pick kids up from karate, bring them home to change back into regular clothes (or in L’s case, dressy clothes). We will race to the school just in time for L to join her classmates, and the rest of us to join the audience. We will sit peacefully and enjoy the play and the singing. If the boys get restless, they will surely color with the crayons and paper I have dutifully remembered to bring.

I forgot. I forgot that H will be tired, and will have already seen this play during school. I forgot. I forgot that E will be overtired, having not had a nap. . . I’ve been a parent for over 10 years, and it’s incredible how much I can forget.

H walks in from Karate and says, “I’m not going. I already saw this play, and just like Martin Luther King says ‘Ain’t going to let nobody turn me around,’ I’m not going to let you make me go.”

Well, then.

I am mad, and I am proud. He could very well ruin this evening for L, and make us late, or be rude during the performance if we make him go. However, he obviously watched the play at school if he can make such a clear connection to his life. He is feeling unfairly treated, and he has a point. So, I call my mom and see if by chance he could hang with her.

Of course he can. We have to leave in 5 minutes, and L is still changing, H is deciding if he should stay or go. (Please sing it) E catches on, and now he wants to stay with Granny. And after lots of screaming, crying, and figuring out, it is decided that both boys will stay.

Somehow we are still on time! As the performance begins, I am drawn into this story of the non-violent Civil Rights Movement as the middle school students tell it, and the Peace Choir sings it (that’s where L is, singing with vigor). The story is moving, the songs are heartfelt, and the message is beautiful. To hear these students speak of freedom and equality brings tears to my eyes.

When the students sing “Ain’t going to let nobody turn me around,” I think of H, and how he should win some “house points” from Dumbledore. If “…It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends…” it must take even more bravery to stand up to your mom. I’m glad he understands that part of the message – stand up for yourself and your rights!

Worry. Detailed Worry (aka, the bat story)

January 1, 2014FamilyCat, Rabies, worryonathought

Worry can overwhelm me. As my husband so bluntly tells it, it can be hard to live with. The days leading up to Christmas were worrisome ones. It started the week before with a bat, and our cats (Susie & Billy).

In the middle of the night, L comes in for a snuggle. She stops at our door, and starts to cry, “Susie’s chasing something!” I do a “there-there” kind of mom-in-the-middle-of-the-night response, vaguely noticing that the cat did jump off the bed, but it’s the middle of the night, and it seems so quiet. Somehow, we are calm and we sleep.

Fast forward 30 hours or so, and husband lets us know that he found a dying bat on the pantry floor. He took care of it, and all is fine. L cries a bit – feeling sad for the bat, and I feel the same way. Cats are not nice to their prey, and the bat was now in a plastic bag in the trash. It’s not a nice story.

Fast forward another 30 hours or so to Saturday night, when husband mentions something about the bat: “Yada, yada, bat, yada, house, yada, yada, rabies, yada, yada, everything is okay now!”

Wait. What? Rabies. Rabies? Why didn’t I freak out about that before? I know you aren’t supposed to google, but it’s night time and husband is asleep, and all I have is google.

Did you know that rabies is 100% fatal? That you don’t know you have it until it’s too late? That bats found in your house in the winter usually mean that there is a colony? That rabies is 100% fatal? That you can get bitten by a bat in your sleep and never know it? That bat bites don’t always leave a mark? That rabies is 100% fatal?

Sunday morning. I call the one vet that I can find that is open. She completely freaks me out about my cats and bats. “Vaccinations aren’t 100%. . . You need to keep your cats away from your kids . . . You need to call the Game department, the Health department. . . This is a big deal.” Sunday is not a good day to try to reach any of these people. But, she gives me another direction as well, “Take the dead bat to the animal diagnostic lab. It will be hard to find, but there is an after hours drop-off refrigerator. Don’t be freaked out if you walk in and there’s a cow in there.” So because I don’t want to go myself, and I feel guilty sending husband by himself, we all pile in the car for a family adventure. Fun times for the family for sure.

After the drop off, we begin the waiting game. I alternate between trying to forget about it and have holiday cheer, and being absolutely unable to stop freaking out imagining the horror of what rabies would mean. We all want to pet Billy & Susie, but we don’t. At night, we close all the bedroom doors to keep the cats away, and I hear every noise: every meow, every squeak of our old heaters(hopefully), every creak of our 100 year old house. And I worry. I am very good at worrying.

Monday morning the lab is open, and they tell me they will send the bat out for testing. I should hear by Tuesday. I now have only one Christmas wish. The animal diagnostic lab worker says “You don’t need to freak out and get shots yet.” Yet. Monday is a long day. I call my vet, who says to watch the cats for weird behavior, and also I am their first bat call. I call my doctor, who is in the middle of moving offices. He’s not there. I call his new office, and they say that if I need to, I should go to the ER. I wait. I pray. I imagine rabies, and children getting foamy and dying. I read more about bats than I ever wanted to. I wait. I pray. I call the ER doctors to ask if the 2 week incubation period is really 2 weeks, or could it be sooner? I am told it is usually 2 weeks or more. I am also told, “Well, first of all, you shouldn’t ever freak out about anything.” Really? Rabies? Death? Doctors, nurses and vets act like I am crazy for being so freaked out but the only available information is very scary. So which is it? I try to temper my worry, and that works sporadically.

Tuesday I call several times until finally they have an answer for me. The conversation is odd though. The woman is rushed, and annoyed and after saying “Negative.” she talks quickly to her coworker, and things sound confusing. “There was another bat that tested positive in your area, but yours is negative.” I make her repeat my reference number, and the results, and hang up. I am not feeling the relief I thought I’d feel because of the oddness of the phone conversation. I know it’s Christmas Eve, and I shouldn’t, but I call again. It’s been a long few days of worry and I need 100% reassurance. She is even more rushed and annoyed, which I totally understand, but when I get off the phone, I wonder if she really double checked or what. My friend nicely says “Checking twice is understandable, but three times is a little crazy.” She’s right, so I ask Husband to make the call. I can’t explain why I can’t get off the freak out train – but it really has been a long few days of worry.He calls. The woman is even more annoyed, “I think I just gave this information to your wife.” But his triple checking makes me feel a little more confident. Baby steps, I guess.

I guess it is just weird. You find a bat, killed by your cats, you freak out, vets freak you out. You drop the dead bat off in the back of a building with a piece of paper with your information. Then you wait for other people to transfer your bat and your information. People tell you to not freak out, but that it can be very serious. Where are the experts?

On Thursday I got the call from the local animal diagnostic lab. “Your bat tested negative for rabies.” I called them back, thanked them and did another double check.

I think I’m finally off of the freak out train. Now we need to figure out how to check for more bats, and what to do with them if there are. . . because if our cats get another one. . . we will have to go through this whole waiting game, freak-out train again.

Here’s to less worry in 2014!