#sol15 March 3 The Silent Countdown

Slice of LIfe  I am participating in the March Slice of Life Challenge: A slice a day for all of March.  You should do it too!  Thank you, Two Writing Teachers! Readers, check out their site, and start slicing! 

 

The silent countdown has begun at school. It’s a shift in the air, imperceptible to some. But, I feel it.

I feel it in the hushed conversations, “Did you do that?” “Do your kids know that?”

I feel it in the paperwork I find in my “To File” pile, and take out to scrutinize.

I feel it in the student data I look at just to check one more time.

I feel it in the way I try to assure myself by listing things I have done.

And in the way I don’t believe my own list.

I feel it in the questions I ask myself: “Did you explicitly teach ‘dynamic character’ as a literary term? How about bias? Epic? Conflict? Exaggeration?”  “Did you do enough close reading with this class?”

I feel it in all the things I have left that I want to teach.

And most of all, I feel it in my big yearly question: “Was the decision to teach the kids and not the test the right one?”

And, in my big answer: “Well, it’s too late now anyway!”

In about 5 weeks, our state testing begins.

Teachers aren’t allowed to opt out, you know.

#sol15 March 2: It’s so loud

Slice of LIfe  I am participating in the March Slice of Life Challenge: A slice a day for all of March.  You should do it too!  Thank you, Two Writing Teachers! Readers, check out their site, and start slicing! 

 

It’s loud in here. I should wait to slice, but I’m afraid I’ll fall asleep and miss my chance.

Kids are wandering over to try to sit on my lap where my laptop is. L and Mr. Thought are laughing and playing hangman.  My son is fake-reading my words and tickling me. I don’t need to tell you how messy my house is. People are climbing over and and leaning in.  They are underfoot.

Not exactly a writer’s retreat. I can’t get a thought to finish in my head.

I try to think,  I hear instead.

“What’s the one that’s famous for it’s spelling? The state?” (H asks me as he lounges on the back of the couch.

“No! I don’t want you to fight me!” (Pretend dinosaurs talking with E)

I think H might be falling asleep as he curls around the couch – marker on his hands, glasses still on. Teeth not yet brushed.

The dinosaurs aren’t fighting anymore, but the hangman game is in full swing.

“It’s not fair! I want to guess! It’s not fair! I want to guess! It’s not fair! I want to guess!” E yells. 

It’s bedtime, and I’m hoping for quiet dreams after just a little bit of time to think.

 

 

#sol15 March 1 March comes in like a lion. AGAIN!

Slice of LIfe  I am participating in the March Slice of Life Challenge: A slice a day for all of March.  You should do it too!  Thank you, Two Writing Teachers! Readers, check out their site, and start slicing! 
Can I Celebrate too? It's the weekend, and really I've been looking forward to March Slice of Life Challenge for awhile. I'm so happy to be slicing again! A streak of writing is just what my brain needs! A streak of connection and reflection... I also need a running streak. . . Maybe April!  Thanks Ruth Ayres for this wonderful link up! 
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Slice of LIfe March comes in like a lion. AGAIN!

It’s March. March! I sit at my dining room table watching snow fall. I am trite and boring:  Last March seems like a decade ago, but also yesterday. Time flies. You can’t go back in time. The years are short but the days are long. Was it really a year ago that I did the slice challenge? March better leave like a lamb. I’m tired of snow. Was March always like this? It must be. I checked my own blog. I found this. So, Yes. 

I’m worried this month, that my second March Slice a day challenge will be tougher than last year. I’m worried I have nothing new to say, that I will accidentally rewrite things I’ve already written. I’m trying to rein in my expectations. Is this your first time with the March challenge? What do you expect?

I expect blank screens,
I expect to hit delete
try new formats
enjoy the poetry of words
I will google words I should know to make sure I'm 
spelling them right
using them right
and basically not sounding like an idiot.

I will sometimes bore myself: select all, delete. 
I will make typos, I will go back and edit --
From my phone
Which will be annoying.

I will think about slices all day, 
I will be closely reading 
my day and weeding
for appropriate 
meaningful 
tiny tales to tell. 

I will submit 
way too many slices at 11:57 pm, 
and just a few in the middle of the day. 
Hurray! (in advance for those successful days)
 
I will get excited to see comments, and I will reply. 

I will read other bloggers' slices and be inspired, 
and more often than I care to admit, I will be jealous of their articulation.

I will annoy you, I'm sure 
with my 
line 
breaks 
and, my commas
(and my dogmas)

I expect I will grow as a writer
I will be fired up about the connections
The new blogs
The routine

The slices all around.

Happy March, Slicers! 

 

 

 

Celebrating

celebrate-image

I’m participating in Ruth Ayres Celebrate This Week. Check out the link up here.

Yesterday I wrote about my week in “failures.” Mostly because it felt like every day had a sigh-inducing moment (or 5). My friend told me that my posting “could be called week in being a super hero AKA mom….just lessons or merely experiences.”

I call this friend my Life Coach. She always has the best perspective. I’ve celebrated her before, and I’ll celebrate her again. A friend since preschool! Amazing. I’ll celebrate technology while I’m at it… Texting has been a great way for us to stay connected during our busy schedules.

My kids are in various stages of sick. So. . .  I’m celebrating my husband: Partner in Hospital O’Thought here. I’m celebrating ginger ale, and sleeping bags, and Netflix.

It’s over 30 degrees today! I’m pre-celebrating the run that I’m hoping to take soon…(Thank you husband and Netflix once again!)

It’s so nice to take a moment to celebrate. It’s especially important after a tough week, a tough night with sick kids, in the middle of a messy house, with a pile of work waiting. If you haven’t yet… please take a moment to celebrate. Thanks Ruth Ayres for this awesome link up!

A week of Failures

This week of failures. 
********

I put on a golden yellow t-shirt, matched perfectly with my scarf and notice a small hole 
my sweater covers it up
pretty much
My daughter says"Don't worry about it! Why are you always worried about stuff like that? It doesn't matter. You should see what MY teacher wears." 
At peace with my outfit, I pour some juice
grape, 100% (fights off stomach bugs, I hear) 
and promptly spill 
purple streaks on my golden yellow T
Decision made
Outfit changed
More laundry

*****************************
I teach
Area of a parallelogram
We draw triangles, and create rectangles
and try to remember formulas
and pencils
we always try to remember pencils
and math books 
and notebooks
and how to stay on task
"How did we find the area of a rectangle?" I ask
"Base times height times 2?" they guess.
"Can I go to the bathroom?"
"When's our next field trip?"
"Did you watch the super bowl?"

**********************
My teaching partner and I stare at the released items
Practice for the state tests
A formula sheet that we hope our students understand
And word problems full of so. many. words. 
We skip the "no calculator allowed" problems, nodding to each other that they make sense. 
We stumble through one where the answer is-|3|<-|2|,-(-2)<-(-3) 
Say that one out loud
And think of a struggling learner, reader, mathematician you know.
We get through the ratios, the rates, and the many
wordy
word problems. 
We stumble again at a question asking us for an equivalent equation 
I believe the goal is to assess the distributive property
and to trick the test taker
We peter out after a few tricky problems
After all, our planning period is almost over
My teaching partner reminds me, 
"Wow. We were working on that for all of 10 minutes and I'm over it...and we skipped the ones we knew we could do if we HAD to." 
The students HAVE to, and for how long? 
An hour? 
More?

******************
We finally hired people to finish fixing up our house
An Amish builder
detailed, friendly, fair
a craftsman
and his sons
Early each morning, my husband drives to get them and they begin their work.
I hate the mess they walk into each day
I imagine their house is not cluttered with 
legos and mail, and so many shoes
I should spend my time on this --
straighten up
clean for these Amish builders
But I don't. 
I'm busy or tired 
or both
So they move the trays of legos, and then they put them back when they are done. They step over backpacks, and move the Cheerios to a different counter.
"Mommy. They organized our shoes, put them in order. They weren't even all put away before!" my children lament
Even they know this is ridiculous.

*************
We are out of class snacks
So I stick some popcorn in the microwave
"Ms. Thought? Um... Is something wrong with the microwave? It's smoking." 
The room still smells of burnt popcorn as I get out the air popper
with it's missing top
That's okay, I balance a ceramic mug to keep the top closed
and the room is filled with the pop pop pop pop
and the burning smell is diminished some with the smell of fresh popcorn
Nacho cheese is the decided flavor packet, so I shake it on
I didn't know you aren't supposed to use the whole packet
Kids cough as they eat and realize my mistake 
I make more popcorn to dilute the invisible cheese flavor
They drink water, and at least some of the kids say
"That's okay. I like this popcorn!" 
***********

At home all the grape juice
didnt quite keep the stomach sick away
Poor sweet kids
Poor sleepy parents

Mr. Thought assures me.
"Next week will be better." 


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A Slice of Assessment

Slice of LIfe

Part of Slice of Life by Two Writing Teachers. Head over there for information and links to more Slicing!

Last weekend was the Karate test. Both of my “big kids” were up for their second yellow stripe. My husband, my 4 year old and I sat squished among all the other parents watching the test. At first I was mostly just nervous for my kids, hoping they didn’t mess up…wondering what would happen if one of them passed the test and the other didn’t. I reminded myself that the class was testing because their teacher thought they were ready to test.

Then I started noticing the slices of assessment…

Before the test, I saw the Karate Teacher, Master Y kneel next to the group of students and give what I’ll call “The Mistakes Talk.” He told them, “You’ll make mistakes. That’s okay. That’s how you learn. Nobody’s going to fail the test because they make mistakes. Try not to make the same mistake over and over again. The judges will take notes so you can learn from today.” Even though it was a test, they knew it was okay if they made mistakes, and that they should continue to learn.

As the students tested, Master Y gave them reminders about their forms that were direct and to the point. Just because it was a test, their teacher was not silent.  K’ihaps can be stronger.”  He reminded them.

Master Y told his students what was next. Before he called out directions, he said, “I’ll call them in order so you won’t be confused.” Just because it was a test, it didn’t need to be tricky.  In fact, as some of the students were testing for their yellow belt, Master Y told the watching yellow stripe students, “What you see is what you’ll be doing in your next test –something to aspire to.”

Each student had a judge watching them. Black belts watched as these beginning karate students worked their way through forms and then sparred with them. A person to evaluate each student, give each student personalized advice!  After the first sparring round, Master Y asked the black belts to tell the students a number to redo. They had a chance to redo something they hadn’t done as well on in the first place! 

At the end of the test, the judges and Master Y went to the back room. As he left, he addressed the students: “I’m going back to discuss what I saw. Sit quietly and think about how you did today and what you saw. And think if it inspired you at all.

It inspired me. I have been thinking about what elements of this kind of assessment I have or  can have in my classroom. I don’t teach karate, and I’m certainly not in charge of the capital A Assessments that my students have to take… but what lessons can I learn about testing? Rolling around in my head are thoughts of individualized assessment, conferring, the power of mistake making, helping students with their confidence, choosing specific goals with students, giving students the chance to redo when possible…

I’d love to hear from you, reader. What lessons can you learn from what I noticed at Karate. Or, what assessment lessons have you recently learned?

 

A Slice of… What If?

Slice of LIfe

Part of Slice of Life by Two Writing Teachers. Head over there for information and links to more Slicing!

The end of winter vacation, 2 hour delays...What if? 

What If

What if
every morning, we had time to
sled,
cook and pack hot lunches
play scrabble junior
and do yoga?
                          and 2 hour delays didn't mean that
                          I'm still late leaving
                          because my son needs a time out
                          as I walk out 
                          the door?

What if
every time I came home I saw
kids playing outside
and had time to bake banana bread
and dinner?
                           and the kitchen miraculously
                           cleaned itself, floors included
                           and kids hung their snow pants up
                           without being asked?

What if
evenings were always full
of calm homework
and bingo
and time to help with piano practice?
                             and pencils weren't lost,
                             sharpeners always worked
                             bingo pieces didn't fall 
                             and nobody cried at the piano


What if
bedtime was always full of
just the right snuggles
and bedtime stories
and whispers of
"I love you Mama?"
                              and I didn't fall asleep
                              to wake up groggy, an hour later
                              to emails and grading and                
                              planning?

"Would 5 extra hours in your day be enough?"
my husband asks,
like George Bailey offering to "lasso the moon."

I don't know.

Break the Ice

It's a NEW YEAR
Still the same School year
But a NEW YEAR!
Last time I blogged it was 
2014
If I don't hit "new post" and then "publish" now, another month might go by! 

I blog in my head sometimes, when I think I'll open my laptop after the kids go to bed. 

I have 
Celebrations of running (5 whole miles! Me!) 
Slices of fun and mess on Christmas Day 
My baby turning 5

I want to share
Reflections from my Winter Book-A-Day
A lesson comparing Letting Swift River Go to a piece on Global Warming Refugees 
and how just today I procrastinated grading late work by cleaning off my desk to make room for my new beach.
photo

I know I need to choose ONE WORD
and my #nerdlution promises 

But, for now I just decided to break the cold 2015 ice
I just decided to write. 


A slice of Roses

Slice of LIfe

Part of Slice of Life by Two Writing Teachers. Head over there for information and links to more Slicing!

It’s winter cold season around here. My son came home on Friday with a low fever and has been coughing ever since. I started getting the cold on Sunday night, my daughter started getting a sore throat Monday morning, and my youngest started the sniffles last night. I’m a baby about being sick. So, last night I went to bed early, woke up an hour later, tried to steam away my cold in a bath… which ended when my 8 year old woke up coughing. I spent the whole night taking small naps in between waking up to him coughing, giving him water, cough drops, etc. This caused me to stay in bed too long this morning, leave my house at the last possible second, and arrive in my classroom just a step ahead of students.

As I unpacked my laptop, and organized my morning things, students were crowding around me, sitting next to me, talking about how tired they were, how they didn’t feel good, how they had been wishing for a 2-hour delay… (Me too, guys. Me too.) The general feeling of blah was all around the room.

I wished for just a moment that I had some nice (quiet) independent work they could do. A word search! A journal entry! Read to self! But, I knew we needed to gather in our morning circle, so gather we did.

“Wow,” I said. “It seems like maybe I’m not the only one feeling discombobulated this morning… Other people are telling me they are tired and sick, and wishing they were back in bed…”

Students nodded and agreed. So we did our “rose and thorn” activity. Going around the circle, students shared a thing they were not happy about today (thorn) and something they were happy about (rose). As we went around the circle, it became clear that I was right: everyone was tired, or had colds. As one student remarked, “Everyone’s sick! This December sickness is killing us!”

But, listening to the roses was just what I needed. Basketball games, grandparent’s visiting, holidays coming, and my favorite, “But my rose is, I’m alive!”

We ended our circle with a 1-2-3 “clap,” and we were off to math. Some days are better than others, and I can’t wait until all the sniffles and coughs are gone. . . but I plan to try to keep remembering the roses.

A Slice of Perceptions

Slice of LIfe

Part of Slice of Life by Two Writing Teachers. Head over there for information and links to more Slicing!

I notice the drama first, since I am facing the Wegman’s cafe entrance. We are close enough to hear the whole thing, and E and I are unable to pull our attention away.

The man isn’t able to get through the automatic door. He walks with a cane, slowly and with an unsteady gait. He complains, sounding mildly annoyed but not distressed. “The door won’t let me walk through. It keeps closing on me.” I watch as the cafe worker notices him and listens to him. She smiles, as you do when a stranger starts talking to you and you are trying to make heads or tails of what they are saying.

The door is closing on him, again and again. I have a fleeting thought that I should maybe run up and hold it open for him. I am worried though, that it would be almost insulting to jump to the conclusion that he needs my help. I know I have been known to complain out loud in a grocery store. I’ll laugh and say, “I can’t control my cart, or “Wow, I’m in everyone’s way in this aisle today!” I say these things with a smile, hoping to smooth over any annoyance of my fellow shoppers.

Suddenly the man is yelling. “Open the door for me, sir! You idiot!” He directs his anger to the female cafe worker,  who is just starting to figure out that maybe this man does need help. She startles, and jumps over to help him, muttering a sincere “I’m sorry.” He yells again, “Don’t be sorry, idiot! Jesus Christ! What’s your problem?”

She helps him get through the door, with her head hung and her eyes embarrassed. He walks away, still muttering, and she cleans the nearby counter. I watch her out of the corner of my eyes, as my 4 year old asks me why the man was so mean.

“He was having trouble getting through the door.” I explain. “How else could he have asked for help?” I ask my son.

“He could have asked nicely… He could have said please.” E answers.

“He must have been having a bad day, or been embarrassed that he couldn’t get through that door. But I wish he hadn’t treated that lady so sharply.” I say, trying to make his unkindness into a teachable moment.

I watch as the worker picks up some trays and heads to the back of the cafe. She still has that shamed face of someone who just got yelled at. I notice her name tag as I try to catch her attention. “I’m sorry that happened to you.” I say. I’m not sure if she hears me. I’m not sure if her day is ruined, or if she will be able to shake it off. I know it was painful to watch the opposite of pay it forward play out in front of us.

As E and I leave the cafe to start our grocery shopping, we pass the man, and I cross my fingers that my son won’t blurt out anything remotely close to “There’s that mean man!” I feel sympathy for this man too. How hard to have the door close on you while you are trying to keep your head held high and walk into the grocery store. I hope he finds some peace in his day without yelling at anyone else.